Continually Struggling

Always my salvation was laughter–laughing with friends, with girlfriends, laughing in the dark…it turned out that when hardships came, the sense of humor of my friends, and of my own, saved the day.
-Anne Lamott



I continually struggle with what to say to friends and family who subscribe to a way of thinking. And I’m frustrated beyond belief when people tell me such things as "if you just counted your blessings" or "if you just mastered your thoughts" or "if you were just more positive and optimistic" then you wouldn’t be in so much pain. I’ve wanted God to give them a day in my brain so that they can really appreciate what they are saying to me and how it might feel if received on the other end. Ahem. Sorry, back to you. O.K. Not really as I couldn't possible wish this on anyone. But do people really think about what they say before the actually say it? I think not.


For those who do not have to endure the so many symptoms related to these illnesses, I would like to say:

1) Do not ever say " I understand how you feel". Because if you aren't walking in my shoes than you truly don't know.

2) Do not ever say "I feel your pain". because I may feel pain more intensly than you.

3) When I state that my headache is so bad, don't complete with me to make your issues worse, just be understanding and careing.

4) When I tell you to not touch me, understand that it is because my skin is on fire, I hurt and every touch hurts worse, not that I am pushing you away.

5)Do not ask me how I am feeling today if you really don't want to hear the answer, because it may be long.

6) Don't assume that because today may be a good day for me that tomorrow will be as well.

7) Please understand that I may have to cancel our vacations, and family outings at the last minute because I hurt, but I am too very disapointed.

8) Please know that I too feel the strain these illnesses are causing on all of our live.

9) Please continue to walk this path that the Lord has given to me to take on, and we shall together find a cure.

10) Know that I might sometimes forget to say how much I appreciated you and your support as sometimes I feel consumed by this illness and its symptoms, but I do appreciate you and your support.

11) Know that I cherish your friendships, love, understanding and compassion.