Monday, January 14, 2008

Why is it when you are at your lowest things just get worse?

Well, I got some interesting news today and over the last few days. I had ordered my medical records from out of state, several months ago. They finally arrived today. yet were incomplete. However, they did send me my old MRI's and a CT scan from 2002. I was shocked to see that I was unaware of the diagnoses made in regards to me. I was a 33 yr. old woman with degenerative disc disease (Spondylosis) Something you are not to have until much later on in life. It stated that C2-3 and C 3-4, as well as T1 and T2. They also stated C 3-4 posterior spinal ligament has mild focal prominence. I also have one solitary focus of hyperdensity in the left parietal lobe which represent an old infaract approx 5mm in size. This means that at some point there was a stroke or injury of some kind. WoW! Nice for this info to be shared with me.
Consistency in care is important to me to reach a cure and be out of this severe pain, but supprisingly enough doctors sometime fail to share this info. My current MRI ( 10/07) stated that I hade Mild ethmiod disease, Empty Sella, My optic nerves is tortuous, meaning kinked/crooked. I was told that my cellubellar tonsils have decended some as well.

On top of this news as many of you know that unfortunately sometimes when medical situations come up, so do many financial problems. When I became very sick from May 07 on, we got behind on bills, motgage, etc. I was in and out of the hospital, having different surgeries, fighting sepsis, etc. My husband was trying to help care for me and our 4 children and still try to work. He is a Fed Ex driver, and has no benefits. So when he doesn't work he doesn't get paid. So as you know you can really get behind. It came to the point that they mortgage company was going to forclose on our home, had increase our payments, etc. I have worked for many months for a resolution to avoid loosing our home. Finally they agreed to a rate reduction for 6 months to help get us back on our feet. this was great news!!! Finally some relief from the stress. But then came the bad news. hey want the first payment on 1/16/08. Impossible! My husband, Steve doesn't get paid until 1/18/08. I asked them if they could wait until then. They refused saying that if we wanted to still qualify for this modification than they need to have the money by the 16th. Once again it seems as if this illness has taken over our lives causing further stress and hardship. What are we to do? We don't have credit cards, as this makes situations worse, and causes further debts. We are on a very strict budget and live paycheck to paycheck since I am no longer working due to the illness. So basically all we can do is pray and pray very hard that a miracle may come to us. I just can't believe that they are so unwilling to wait 2 extra days.

Well I believe the lord sometimes works in mysterious way.

Today has been stressful, and I am fighting another headache and back pain, yet I won't give up hope on finding my miracles.

Yet even though all of this is happening I can stop to think that there must be a message or lesson to be learned, but I am sure when I figure it all out it will have all made perfect sense, and it was all reasonable. Yet right now it just feels over whelming.

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